Family gatherings and festivities are supposed to bring loved ones together, but Greta’s 40th wedding anniversary had the opposite effect. Greta urged her daughter-in-law to bring only one child in order to make space in her crowded home. What she thought was a reasonable request suddenly caused tension, which grew into a major schism. Greta is now seeking advice on how to resolve the matter. Here is her story.

This is Greta’s letter:

My husband and I are celebrating our 40th anniversary with 12 of our closest family members. Our home is small, so I asked my son’s wife to only bring my 9-year-old grandson and leave her other three kids (13, 11, and 10) at home. My son quickly agreed, and the three of them came to the celebration. However, the whole night, she was oddly quiet.

I almost fainted when I opened it and saw all my belongings from my son’s house, where I occasionally stay. There was a note saying, “You’re not welcome to stay at my house anymore.” Sh0cked, I chose not to react to avoid creating further conflict.
However, the next day, my grandson called me in tears. He told me that his parents had a huge fight, and his dad had left. I rushed to their house and froze when I found the place in complete disarray. My daughter-in-law turned to me and said she wanted to leave my son because he didn’t stand up for her kids.
She told me that what I did was unacceptable and that she would never forgive me for excluding her children like that. A few days have passed, and they still haven’t reconciled.
Am I to blame here?
Greta