Elderly Woman Sends Brilliant Letter To The Bank After They Let Her Check Bounce

Elderly people may seem frail, but messing with them is never a good idea. Though their bodies have aged, their minds are still sharp as a whip, and their lengthy life experience gives them an upper hand in many situations. The following letter was sent to a bank manager by an 86 year-old woman after her check bounced, and he thought it was so funny that he sent it to the New York Times to publish. The letter is sure to bring a smile to your face and serve as a reminder that messing with older people is a very bad move indeed!

Here’s the full letter:

“Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, 3 nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only 8 years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, — when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.

My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.

As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows: IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH
1. To make an appointment to see me

#2. To query a missing payment.

#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

#4 To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.

#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.

#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through

#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.

#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English.

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call. Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year? Your Humble Client And remember: Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off.”

LOL! What a priceless comeback!

SHARE this story so your friends and family can see this as well!

Related Posts

These are the consequences of sleeping in…

Sleeping with the wrong person can leave lasting emotional damage. As the article explains, “what might begin as a moment of pleasure can quickly spiral into self-doubt,…

Everything we know after man dies on Universal theme park roller coaster

A man has died after becoming unresponsive while riding the Stardust Racers roller coaster at Universal’s new Epic Universe theme park in Florida. The incident happened on…

Donald Trump’s ‘wildly inappropriate’ comments about Kate Middleton during state dinner spark backlash

Donald Trump has faced backlash for remarks about Kate Middleton during his second state visit to the UK, an unusual honor since most presidents only make one….

Three demands Jimmy Kimmel must meet to return to air after suspension over Charlie Kirk segment

ABC affiliate group Sinclair has suspended Jimmy Kimmel Live! “‘indefinitely’”, after Kimmel mocked Donald Trump’s reaction to Charlie Kirk’s killing during a recent show. Kimmel aired a…

People spot King Charles’ reaction to Donald Trump’s subtle dig at Prince Harry during rare state dinner

Donald Trump and Melania Trump attended a state banquet at Windsor Castle during their UK visit with King Charles III, Queen Camilla, Prince William, and Kate Middleton….

Donald Trump’s concerning 2 words to Melania after UK landing, revealed by lip reader

Former U.S. President Donald Trump and former First Lady Melania Trump arrived in the UK for an official state visit, beginning with an overnight stay at Windsor…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *