A man visits his doctor feeling seriously ill and asks how much time he has left. The doctor answers, “Ten.” Worried, the patient asks whether he means ten months or ten weeks. The doctor simply replies, “Nine…” leaving the man even more confused.

Another patient complains that touching his shoulder, knee, or forehead causes terrible pain. After listening to his symptoms, the doctor quickly discovers the problem: the man has a broken finger.

Meanwhile, a patient waiting for surgery becomes terrified after hearing a nurse repeatedly say, “Don’t be nervous. It’s only a small operation.” Unable to take it anymore, he jumps off the operating table and runs away. His fear becomes understandable when he realizes the nurse wasn’t speaking to him but trying to calm down the surgeon.

At a psychiatric hospital, a doctor draws a door on the wall and invites the patients to leave. While everyone else tries to open it, one man remains seated, smiling confidently. When the doctor asks why, he whispers, “I’m the one with the key.”

Finally, a 90-year-old woman visits her doctor because she regularly passes gas without hearing or smelling anything. He prescribes medication and asks her to return a week later. When she complains that the gas now smells terrible, the doctor smiles and says, “Very well. Now, about your hearing…”